The Out-of-Body Ah-Ha Moment

I was like, "*Oh, that's cute*," in the most patronizing way. And I didn't even know I was doing it because it was beneath my conscious mind in (you guessed it) the subconscious.

I was talking to my mom last week about a conversation I'd had with Aaron (my handsome, strapping younger man fiancé) in the early days of our relationship about what our life together would look like in the future. He said, "I'd like to be the (financial) provider," and until this conversation with my mom last week, I didn't realize that when he said that, my "knee-jerk/patterned/programmed" belief was, "that's cute... You think you're going to be able to provide for me... I'm bougie, and I have lofty dreams and aspirations... don't worry about it... I'll take care of us."

At the time, he was like 22 years old, and I was 42, so we'll add that into the mix for funsies. Consciously, it made sense for me to think that my (college student) partner was not capable of becoming "the provider" and that I'd need to claim that role for a while. But I didn't realize what was still happening beneath the surface that was constricting both of us.

Have you ever had a realization that makes you go, "Oh, oh, ohhhhhhhh, OOOOOHHHHHH, oh NO, ohmygosh?"

I sat there with my mom and basically had an out-of-body experience with this ah-ha moment because for the last few years, I've been pressing Aaron to begin contributing more to our lives financially (he graduated summa cum laude with his masters in Sport Psychology in April then helped me birth Soul Forward Method as videographer, editor, sound guy, etc., so he's been busy but not doing things that allow him to contribute more financially).

I had my right foot going through the floorboard on the gas pedal, trying to get him to contribute more.

I knew the energetics were off, and I thought that his contributing more would solve it, but it was more than that.

What I didn't realize was that this subtle (yet powerful af) subconscious (dis)belief I had that he couldn't be a provider was the equivalent of having my left foot completely pressed down on the brake pedal.

Neither of us could go anywhere. We were a parked car and you can't steer a parked car or get anywhere in one. We were in neutral even though I'd engaged the transmission into drive.

I was riding the brake while pumping the gas.

This is why working in the subconscious is so powerful. We don't really know what's in there wreaking havoc in our conscious lives until we explore it. And once we know what the beliefs are, we can make the changes that will support our conscious lives, those in it, and our dreams.

The willingness and curiosity to discover what you really think and believe is the gateway to freedom, evolution, and expansion. You stop going in circles and begin to head straight in the direction of what's beyond. It's the most enlightening thing to understand who you are this intimately. It seriously changes everything.

Once I realized I had that limiting belief in place about Aaron, I knew exactly how and where to work to "release the brake." I worked in my subconscious, conscious, nervous system, emotions, and in my energy. I pulled everything into alignment in the direction I want things to go. I gave him permission (and my belief) to become the provider, and not that I want him to be the sole provider; I want to do this together, but I realized that it's entirely possible for him to be the sole provider as a 27-year-old man with his degrees and brilliance.

I love this way of living. It's humbling, empowering, embarrassing, freeing, and deeply authentic. This is what happens for you inside Soul Forward Method. There are "a million ah-ha moments," as my clients say (and for good reason). Some of them feel like, "well, shit, I had no idea that was what I really felt." And then comes the freedom.

You always have an invitation to take gorgeous ownership of your life (from the inside out) inside Soul Forward Method.

I love the ah-ha moment and what I did with it that same day. Things are already shifting, and we both feel an elevated level of freedom we didn't realize we didn't have before all of this came through.

Here's to seeking out, finding, and fixing the places we're keeping ourselves and those around us in limited patterns that no longer serve.