White Spaciousness (and the Permission to Have It)

A personal, client, and collective theme this week: the need for less of some things and more of others.

Namely, less of things being stacked on our proverbial plates (either by us, or when we allow others or circumstances to do it to us), and more white spaciousness on the plate itself.

I work with really ambitious women who are crammed into their days like it's a brand new pair of Spanx.

There's little, if any, buffer between responsibilities, stacked habits, self-care, relationship demands, motherhood, and being a positive contribution to humanity.

I want to change this.

I want us to recognize the pace of our lives and honor that we are the authority to set it.

I want women to see that their nervous systems are calibrated to chaos, and that's why the plates are overfilled and heavy and they aren't thriving.

They hide all of this under the umbrella of being ambitious, but it might be an unconscious cover-up for unhealed patterns still calling the shots and saying the yeses.

Imagine a world filled with healthy, resourced, rested, visionary women. Imagine yourself feeling that way the majority of the time.

How about your best friend, that way, and your sister and mom? How about the other mothers you know, the leaders you admire, everyone living from regulated nervous systems with the ability to say no when they need to without a flicker of guilt, and yes when they have the capacity to do the task beautifully.

Imagine homes and families where we, the healed, healthy, boundaried women, set the tone energetically, and it's one of harmonious resonance that feels good and safe.

Things outside of our control happen every day. We are bombarded with information beyond our capability to fully integrate or understand.

And we are still responsible for who we're being, how we're showing up, what we're offering the world in those times when it's like, wtf is going on again.

I've been talking about whitespace for a couple of years, because we need to be building it into our lives as if they're marble pillars. We need to have our own backs here and make damn sure we're resourcing ourselves in ways that nurture and nourish the humans we are.

I can see where I need bigger swathes of white spaciousness.

And I'd love it if the people in my life could register that I dim when I don't have solitude (my favorite white spaciousness elixir) and go out of their way to give me what I need. But the truth is:

I need to make sure I get it.

Not wait for them to recognize it and take it upon themselves to create it for me.

We need to be donning our big girl panties (are Spanx big girl panties?!) and deciding and declaring that this is necessary and non-negotiable, so that we can be healed, healthy, resourced women who set the exquisite tones of the rooms, homes, and families we're in.

Whatever it is that we need, we need to own it.

And we need to figure out how to get it, because the permission comes from us first.

What would feel like a balm to your body and soul right now? How could you give that to yourself in any measure?

Tend to yourself, beautiful soul.