Fly, Woman, Fly

I went time-traveling this week, twenty years into the past. And it was a trip.

Honestly, it kind of felt like the Ghost of Christmas Past was touring me around to who I was and how I used to live in Los Angeles.

I felt like a witness, like it was all familiar but far away from where I am now.

A friend down here said, "You have lived so many lives," and it felt so true (and, tbh, sometimes I feel hella old because of how much I've done, identified as, chosen, and lived out).

The weird thing is that when I'm here with the people I've known for over twenty years, I don't feel like I'm 47. I feel like I'm the 27-year-old who worked really hard for others to make their dreams come true.

For some reason, I was shown how I showed up for those around me before I showed up for myself.

When you go back to the place you grew up, or visit the family you grew up in, or go to places from your past where you were one iteration of yourself but you've become another, it feels trippy.

Like, who do you see me as? What outfit are you used to me wearing?

When you've lived as a caterpillar in a family or community of caterpillars, and you evolve into who you're here to become, the people who knew you as one thing may not have the ability to receive you as who you've become.

They might want you to stay the same because they know how to interact with the old you.

Or your evolution is hard for them to accept because sometimes they know, on a deeper level, that they're meant to evolve too, but haven't been brave enough to yet.

And sometimes you've got soulmates who sit in the front row of the evolution of your life and cheer the loudest.

Not everyone is meant to become something entirely new, but you are.

When you stay who you've been for the comfort of those who don't have the same calling as you, you stunt both of you.

You can't be half caterpillar, half butterfly. Have you seen this creature in nature? No, because the evolution requires an un-becoming before the birth of something new.

The f*ing flex is whether or not you can hold who you have become.**

Have you seen the butterfly curl up her wings to fit back in with the caterpillars?

Fly, woman, fly.

You were made for this level of living, freedom, and having this kind of impact on the world. It can't become reality if you keep slipping into the old identity.

You will wither if you don't stretch those wings.

I write this to myself as much as I write this to you.

I was unexpectedly brought to Los Angeles to see:

Who I was.

Where I'm still operating out of stale beliefs.

And the identities that need to be fully released so that I can flex, stretch, fly.

It occurred to me that I have wrapped up a lot of agreements, timelines, karma, and lessons as I've been a willing participant in my evolution in this life.

This may be my last time on earth. I'm cleaning things up, and hear me when I say, I'll be leaving a mark on this planet and its future when I leave here.

But only if I fly.

And if the butterfly effect is real (it is), then what is not being set into motion as you stay in identities you've outgrown?

Things are waiting for you to fly.

Personal evolution on an entirely new level is what I do now, and it's radically different than what I did when I lived here decades ago.

It's your soul's dream I support. I help you become who you were always meant to be, but haven't been yet.

Let's fly.