I Started a New Book and It Opened a Portal of Healing

I bought a book in a used bookstore in Cambridge, MA when we were there in October.

I was familiar with the book (having owned bookstores for a decade will make you "familiar" with a lot of books), but I'd never read it. It's Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel, and by the 35th page, a portal had opened up in me because of what I was reading.

First of all, I was captivated on page one. I love this writing so much. Pre-AI had some legit human writers who could lean only on themselves and other humans to write. You can feel that in this book, and the story that's being told is so textured. That's a lot of imagination.

Let me back up real quick before going into the portal, for context.

Six months ago I started receiving downloads about our legacies, that we have more than one, that we build one on top of another, and what we don't realize is that we build the lives and legacies we want to live on fault lines (like earthquake fault lines).

I've been channeling a new understanding of healing and legacies and what our personal earthquakes and tremors (aka triggers) actually are.

Anyway, spoiler alert: the book opens with a massive earthquake that orphans a 5-year-old girl a bajillion years ago. And she has blond hair and blue eyes.

A few pages later, she's had a run-in with a lion that sliced her leg open and she's basically dying of starvation, dehydration, and infection. But a native tribe (who's been earthquaked out of their cave and are on a relocation expedition) finds her, and a medicine woman begins to heal her with the herbs and plants around them.

Here's where the portal opened up.

The author explains that these native people would hand down their wisdom from generation to generation through their brains. We're talking epigenetics, but even more cool. She explained that their brains were bigger and the areas where important information was stored would take up more space. Their heads were shaped differently than ours because we don't have to store so much within them.

She said that a medicine woman would have knowledge of plants (whether they were helpful or harmful, and how to use them) without her having ever seen the plant before. She would know it because it was stored in her brain. She would have no memory of the circumstances around how she knows what she knows. That's how she would know it was wisdom that had been passed down.

If she did have a memory of the circumstances that involved her learning about the plant, she'd know it was her own learning.

I read this about things being passed down in this specific way, and I felt this nudge. Same nudge I felt when I was in the sauna in 2022 and I brought the first half of SFM through in 20 minutes.

When I feel the nudge, I pause and listen.

When I paused this time, I found myself thinking about my upline, my parents and their parents and their parents, and I felt myself asking, "What have they passed down to me that they knew because of their lived experience?"

I focused on my parents and grandparents individually and traced the thread that connects us upward, and what I found was this single phrase present in all of them, and in me:

Hard work, for little. Sometimes very little.

I know this consciously. And I had an experience last year where I healed some things by proxy for my paternal grandfather that he wasn't meant to heal while he was down here. I also know that those who came before us healed as much as they could heal, and that we who are the descendants who are becoming awake and alive are the chosen ones.

So I lay there in bed, allowing all of the information to come in. And then I saw that same thread coming through me and going into my children. I've done a ton of healing so they don't get everything that came into me because it's not passed down anymore. But this particular thing is still being passed down.

Until I heal it. Because they can't anymore.

Today I went to check on my dad, who is slowing way down and is losing his memory. We chatted about Christmas and he immediately began telling me stories of his childhood (he's telling us the same stories over and over again these days).

He said, "We didn't have very much when I was a kid. There were times when we ate oatmeal for all three meals for months at a time. My parents would sometimes need to ask your Aunt Jinny for help, but they always paid her back. She put me through dental school, and I really hope I thanked her..." I know he did.

There was the very little theme being confirmed, because I'm still in the portal.

An hour later I was in my office and something felt overwhelming (a lot has happened today that felt like a tiny bit too much on my plate) and I just started to cry. Because:

I am the chosen one.

What a gift.

What a responsibility.

How I heal it has everything to do with how I navigate getting this healing modality to the world.

I'm in a portal. And it feels like a stretch.

I can choose not to heal it and just continue dealing with hard work for little. Or I can keep picking it up as a reminder of where my work is right now.

I have no doubt that I will remain in the portal until this work is done, which is actually very exciting, because I want to see my life and the life of my children and grandchildren change because I healed this. Not to mention my upline who cheer me on from the other side of the veil.

You'll watch me heal this in real life right before your eyes.

I know what I need to do.