I Just Back-Seated My Relationship (and It's Going to Get Stronger Because I Did)

I didn't see it until I saw it, and then I couldn't unsee it. You know how it goes.

Thanks to a new friend and a client who is my business coach, I was able to unearth some hidden things within myself over the last few weeks.

I've shared about them in previous emails, but to get down to brass tacks: I was able to see that out of a subconscious belief that love and money can't simultaneously co-exist for me, I was unintentionally prioritizing (protecting) my relationship with Aaron above the work my soul is here to do.

I feared that if I really put the same unshakably certain energy that created this modality into the business that supports getting that modality to the world on an enormous scale, I would lose my most amazing love story.

But I didn't know I was doing that.

It seems obvious that prioritizing your relationship should come above work. (Have you had any kind of emotional or nervous system response to anything I've written so far? If yes, I wonder why?)

But I was over-prioritizing it to the detriment of my business and impact.

Once I realized all of this and took it through some hypnosis, I realized that my human was playing chicken with my soul.

I was saying, "I'll only go all in on this business if you let me keep my relationship, too." And because this was happening behind the protective mechanism between my conscious and subconscious, I didn't know I was doing it.

So I was self-protecting (or relationship-protecting) and paying the price for it.

I came to realize the most important thing I'm meant to do is get this modality to the world. It's what my soul is here for.

My human would like to have both the global impact and the beautiful relationship.

My soul asked, "If you didn't know if you would get to have both, would you still be willing to get this healing to the world?"

Yes.

So I swapped priority positions. I moved the modality and every aspect of the business that supports it as my most important priority. My relationship took a backseat.

And what's happened since then has been so interesting.

How I show up in the business has completely shifted. Everything is happening with joy and ease (where there used to be resentment and frustration). There's just a flow that hasn't been there for years.

And the way I relate to Aaron has shifted. It's more whole. Like I'm not looking at him as the thing I need to be paying attention to. My focus is where it needs to be, and that's shifting the dynamic between us.

I'm also raising the bar on it. If I'm going to keep both, I'm not going to settle in either.

We are shifting further into being an empowered couple as I've put on my big girl panties and am willing to do what my soul needs me to do. He's already doing this kind of work towards his own career and dreams (he'll compete for a world championship title in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu this week).

I know a lot of women who would thrive with a priority check. There are a lot of moms who overprioritize their kids and lose themselves in the process. There are a lot of wives who become the woman behind the man and lose their bigger purpose in the process.

We all have unique roles down here, especially where we're at in history and what's coming our way. But if we have our heads up our butts and our energy is being siphoned by others or leaked out because we haven't seen the energetic dynamics at play in the life we've created, we're not going to tap into the bigger meaning of why we're here and what we're here to do.

I fully intend to keep my beautiful relationship and evolve it into something even more powerful than it is. But I do it with an open palm, not a white-knuckled fist. I do it alongside, but a step behind this other calling my soul has.

I'll keep you posted. But so far, so good on all fronts.