That Time I Had to Say "I Don't Like Your Energy" to Someone's Face

It was her virtual Zoom face, but I still found myself saying it.

I didn't say it to poke her or to be mean. I said it because my human was finally honoring the nudge of my soul in real time, instead of hesitating.

Here's the backstory.

Like you, I'm a human being living out a human experience, and that's not a linear path but one that's generally like some leg of a roller coaster track. Some are kiddie coasters and gentle, others are more like long train rides across the plains of middle America. Some scare you to even look at from the safety of the ground below, where you still have the option to get in line or not.

I've been on the same ride for a long season.

In it, I've learned something significant about overriding my own inner authority and what happens when you place others you see as "experts" over that authority. Hefty lesson, but I'm a life experiencer (my 6/3 Human Design profile is evidence), so I had to learn it through experiencing it.

I had to go through it to understand it and teach on it.

At this point, I thought I was doing pretty well.

I'd released myself from those whom I'd positioned as authority and went all in on trusting my intuition as my teacher for like six months.

Then I popped my head up from the underground work I'd been doing, and guess what happened. Another "expert" popped up. But this one felt different because she's a hypnotist and holistic healer.

This sneaky disguise was my own soul trying to show me where I have a blind spot in continuing to position others over myself.

When this woman came across my IG, I didn't love her energy, but I was intrigued by what she was saying. It was specific to the work I do and how to message that work more effectively. I thought she might shine a light into a blind spot, so I opted into her free training.

While I was watching, she began a conversation with me over Facebook DM. We got on a Zoom call the next day where I was immediately aware of the fact that her energy was even more bland in person than it was on her videos, but I hung out and engaged with her as she asked me questions and followed a script to keep the call going, the same one I learned when I became a hypnotist. I saw right through it.

She told me what she believed were the "problems" I was having in trying to communicate what happens when you come through Soul Forward Method, which is challenging because it's unlike anything else, so there's no way to properly capture it in words. One point seemed interesting, and I thought I might play with it.

Then she asked if I was open to hearing how they could help me specifically.

I was kind of neutral but said, "Sure," at which point she said we'd need to set up another hour-long call and asked when I was available. I could feel stronger hesitation but my logical mind was doing a monkey dance about "maybe she has something magical! Maybe I owe her since I just had this free call with her!" and I said, "Thursday?"

She started to give me time options and I chose one, and I kid you not, my soul goes: Heidi. What are you doing? Are you really about to position another person outside of yourself as the authority?

And I listened and re-aligned myself with my soul.

I said, "You know what, I'm going to save us both the time and energy of putting this on our calendars because I know I'm not actually interested. Thank you so much for your time today, I do appreciate it."

She immediately asked me if I knew why I didn't want to have the meeting. I said I did know, and she asked me to share it with her, and I blurted out:

"I just don't like your... sorry... it's not that I don't like you... it's just that I don't like your energy. It's not a match for me."

I watched her recoil. I could see her being activated, probably triggered, that I was honest in that way. She came back with, "Well, you might need a teacher, and teachers will make you uncomfortable."

To which I said, "I've had lots of teachers and I've learned from all of them, but the one thing I've had to learn the hard way is to never override my intuition and position a teacher above it. This energy is not a yes for me, and I won't talk myself into it."

I thanked her again for her time and got off the call feeling ridiculously aligned and empowered.

I felt like I got a freaking A on a test.

It's the fastest I've ever completed a learning opportunity in this area, and I was back on board as the woman who supports my soul, lickity split.

Embodied authority and the words that come from it are powerful.

I did not mean to poke her, but I could feel her pushing against the boundary I'd just set.

We don't have time to placate others when it overrides our own inner guidance. We need to own it, honor it, and follow it up with action.

In a funny turn of events, I saw another ad on my IG about Human Design and Gene Keys that felt interesting, so I bought it for $27 and watched this woman's masterclass and it blew my hair back and lit me up in the best way. When I finished I thought, that's a woman I'd enjoy being around. That's an energetic yes. That's when you know it's aligned for you.

Moral of the story: listen to your energy, your intuition, your instincts, your pings, your nudges, your soul, the first time.

You are the authority.