What I Taught My Kids About Soulmates at the Dinner Table

We coparent across two states, and as our lives evolve, so does our coparenting schedule.

We just received the kids after 6 weeks of them being with their LA family (dad, stepmom, stepbrothers, and 4 cats).

There's a lot of "downloading" about their time away from the moment we get in the car at the airport when we pick them up. What their favorite part was, what adventures they had, and then it moves into how excited they are to be here and what they're looking forward to.

And then, when the initial excitement wears off, they'll settle into talking about challenges from their trip.

My kids are highly aware of the emotional energy of others, because they're my kids. They're enveloped in the energy of Soul Forward awareness, and it clears how they see themselves and others, including their parents and stepbrothers.

They're incredibly patient, loving, and full of grace, while being more aware of what's going on in others than the others are of themselves.

The EQ over here is above that of most adults. My kids are 13 and 10 going on 40 (but a healed, Soul Forward 40, not a regular 40).

The topic turned to soulmates, and I could hear their concept of a soulmate being shaped in a limited way (that soulmates are limited to romantic partners). So I listened and then asked if they wanted to understand what a soulmate really is.

I told them everything I know about soulmates (something that is threaded throughout all of Soul Forward Method) and how soulmates don't always look like everything is perfect and loving and beautiful. It often looks hard, because soulmates are here to help us on our journey.

The issue is when we don't realize that the friction in any relationship is showing us exactly what we need to heal, so that we can get the wisdom and evolution our soul came down here for.

When we think that soulmates are only meant to give us the "good stuff" like overflowing love, abundant safety and security, and a shit-ton of ease and fun, we write off the soulmates that are providing us with the meat we need.

The gorgeous thing about my kids is that they can hang. They can sit and listen and integrate and chew on whatever we talk about, and it shifts them internally, which shifts them externally.

The level of grace they have for others is beyond.

They still get to be kids. I'm not trying to grow them up too fast. But when you're me and you walk around the planet seeing 95% of humanity living in the unhealed patterns and limitations they haven't healed from when they were young, you guide your children differently.

This is one of the most precious gifts I found in healing my Soul Forward: I parent completely differently. I didn't have the capacity to do it the way I do it now (which is with ease) before. I was previously programming my unhealed patterns directly into them.

Not anymore.

We're training up the next generation in every moment we parent, not just the good ones where we want to pat ourselves on the back.

My kids see me struggle. They see me tired. They hear me say the most bad words (one of my favorite things about being a human is the word fuck). And they see me own and take responsibility for all of it, even when it's hard to.

Because we're soulmates and I would rather be part of their expansion than their limitation. So I did and do the work to shore them up. I create shoulders for them to stand on instead of standing on theirs by handing down what I haven't healed.

This is all legacy work. Mine, theirs, our ancestral lineage both up and down.

It's on us. No one else.

The energy in our home is 95% light. It feels safe here because we don't pack away what needs to be aired out. This is the exact opposite of my upbringing, where we said nothing and never resolved conflict. I had zero skills in how to do this and a fearfully avoidant attachment style to go with it.

My kids love being here. We love being here. But it took getting my unhealed head out of my unhealed ass in order to create this kind of dynamic. To make a home feel safe and loving, we have to become that for ourselves and our souls.

It's priceless when we do.