Mel Robbins Ruined My Date Night

Aaron said to me twice yesterday that something I'd said reminded him of the podcast he was listening to with Mel Robbins as the guest. And I got spicy with him. Both times.

First of all, let's identify what "spicy" means to me so we're on the same page. When I say spicy, I mean I was hotter under the collar. I was feeling the flush in my cheeks. I was basically rolling up my sleeves to talk about it because I was hot.

Another way of saying it would be that I was "activated." And another nother way would be to say I was "triggered," although not in the usual way we think of being triggered. I wasn't fully dysregulated or anything, but I was hella heightened.

The thing is, this is the second time someone has said something about me that reminds them of Mel (or Mel reminding them of me), and it bothers me for good reason. But should it?

Here's why it bothers me.

I am very intentional about what I ingest. I was guided years ago (through my channel) to stop reading books and listening to podcasts, and to avoid following people in my field or adjacent fields. I knew I needed to keep a clear channel. There's a lot of echo-chambery stuff out there in the world, and I don't want to contribute to it.

So when someone says something about someone I sound like or should listen to or follow because I'd "love them," I'm like, thanks, but do you even know me? (Spicy, right?)

Aaron did it twice in one afternoon, and it really pushed a button. I felt like I was being compared to her. I felt like I wasn't being seen by him because I've been talking beyond these things for years without it coming through another person or their book or podcast.

What he was saying was that she discovered something that others have discovered too (and science has proved it) about letting people do what they're doing.

My feeling was: I work beyond that. So why are you saying I remind you of what you're hearing on this podcast?

Awareness of your internally-patterned ways of wanting to control how someone does something is just awareness. My work goes into why you're patterned that way in the first place. "Letting them" doesn't fix things. It manages the symptoms of a deeper program that's running within you.

I was so incensed that he twice mentioned her "findings" that I missed his point.

I ruined our date night because I was too busy being spicy to hear what he was trying to say, which was that she and others and science have become aware of this tendency, but they lack the tool to do anything significant about it.

He was trying to say that Mel is onto something, and I have the tool that would allow her to dig into it (ahem, heal it) on a deeper level.

My human gets spicy because I have something really powerful that isn't yet out to the big world, and it really needs to be. I'm impatient when I should be neutral, trusting that it will all unfold in divine timing. But instead, when I see the gaps in what people are blasting from their enormous platforms, it makes me a little bit nuts. Because I want to fill the gap.

What's hilarious is that I wasn't able to just "let him" say that I was making him think of the podcast he'd listened to earlier that day. I had this whole story built up inside of me. So that's fun. (#humbling) But I have the tool and the awareness to understand why it all played out the way it did.

Going forward, I'm going to stop feeling spicy about Mel and start feeling hopeful that I'll sit on her podcast and share Soul Forward Method with her and her audience. (Let me know if she's your second cousin or anything 😂)

PS: Aaron and I had a chat about our Mel-exchange over dinner (after he sat in the farthest seat away from me 🥺), and we addressed it from a lot of angles to heal it and bridge the gap, not just pretend it didn't happen. I love us so much.