VIDEO: I Don’t Lead With My Story
I used to need to protect myself by giving others the lens I wanted them to view me through. My wounded self still thrived beneath the surface (in my subconscious) and needed to protect me by positioning myself as the victim of my circumstances and to “please handle me with kid gloves.” Once I traveled back into my first narrative and exchanged the wounds for wisdom I healed the need to lead with my story. I no longer need to tell others how I want them to feel or think about me. I want everyone who resonates with this to have a way to do this work so I’m creating tools to do just that.
Video Transcript
I used to lead with my story. Whenever I met someone or had an opportunity to introduce who I was, I would lead with the story that I knew of my life. And I did that because my subconscious was telling me this is how you want to present yourself to the world. This is how you want to present yourself to people so that you control the lens through which they view you and treat you, and speak to you, and feel sorry for you, and la la la, allowing you - me to be safe. So I told the story and I have a kind of story that has certain elements that are really like hooky. And when I would tell my story, people would get quiet and lean in. And what that did was two things, I learned it really young that people like a good story and it gave me attention. So telling my story gave me an audience, and it also allowed me to control how they viewed me and what kind of in a box they put me in. Like, a padded one, like oh my God she's been through so much. Like that’s so crazy, or like I can't believe that she was able to do that or whatever it is.
But all of that telling my story was a defense mechanism to keep people to treat me a specific way. It allowed me, and this was not conscious, it allowed me to remain the victim in my own story. It allowed me to like carry the wounds with me. And the wounds were the ones that were making the decisions for me because our subconscious mind is telling our conscious mind how to function and operate, and what words to use, and what to do and not to do. And so our story, if left undiscovered on the subconscious plane, is always the same that is in control of our life. So subconsciously, I needed to still be safe in my victimhood and my wounding until I went back and exchanged all of those wounds in my first narrative for wisdom.
Now that I'm living from a place of being aligned with the wisdom of the experiences that I had and not the wound that still sort of like festered, I don't have to tell my story anymore because I'm at home. And I'm in alignment with who I am and what I'm here to do. And it doesn't matter what someone else's opinion is of me and I don't need to- I don't need to tell the story to, to gain an audience. I don't, I don't need to, I don't need to control how they see me at all. Your opinion of me says more about you than me.
I'm at home and so I don't lead with my story anymore, but that's because I've done this work to go in and exchange the wounds for wisdom. And there's so much freedom in that personally, but also in how I live and how I have freed everyone to have their own opinion of me. And I have freed everyone in my story from being in my story the way that I always had them in my story. Because as we heal ourselves and our, and the things that happened. And let me tell you something - the subconscious is a freaking circus. It is not logical. It does, it makes stories out of nothing. And when we don't explore that area of ourselves, we don't know what completely ridiculous limiting beliefs are in place and completely wrong assumptions about things, and about ourselves, and about what we're capable of doing, and allowed to do. And all of these things. We become limited in our own lives consciously and everything that we do. So I don’t tell my story anymore. It'll come out in bits and pieces because I had to heal my story in order to do the work that I’m meant to be doing on this planet. So bits and pieces of my story will come out, and you'll be like oh my gosh I see now why. Okay, it makes sense now, but to not leave without and to allow people to have their own opinion of who I am and what I'm here. To do is so liberating and empowering, and man, I can go on and on about this, because now I want to talk about the Enneagram. Another post - but anyway, I don't leave with my story anymore.
I would encourage you to look at the, at the story that you believe is yours and ask why, and then why, and then why, and then why, and then why. To get to the bottom, which is really hard to access consciously. So I'm creating, I'm creating a library of audios that will be energy, which I have learned a lot about energy and how to change our own and do all of that stuff, and hypnosis. And I'm creating some tools because I can't work 1 to 1 with as many people as I want to work 1 to 1 with cuz I would die. So I'm creating something, and it's coming out later this month, that is going to help you drop into the subconscious space, and ask those questions, and find those wounds, and exchange them for the wisdom that they hold because every single one does. So this is a little plug for that. Keep an eye out. Get on my mailing list on my website on the hypnosis audio page. You can put your information in there to know exactly when those are going to come out and they are the next part of what I am here to do. And I'm really, really excited because I know that they are, I know that they are the thing that I am meant to bring to life for you.